Tree Decoration at the studio

تنی، همکار ارمنی من اسفند پارسال پدرشو از دست داد. 

در جریان چیدن درخت کلی مبادلات فرهنگی و رسم و رسومی بین ارامنه و مسلمونها شد… داشتم میگفتم مثلا قدیم تا چهل روز اقایون اصلاح نمیکردن یا تا یکسال کسی عروسی مهمونی نمیگرفت ولی الان خانپاده صاحب عزا همون هفتم با چهلم اعلام میکنن که شماها به زندگیتون برسین حتما و این عزا واسه ماست. 

خلاصه… تنی گفت سال اول، درخت نمیچینیم. دلم گرفت. بهش‌گفتم ماها عید اول که میشه میریم خونه کسی مه صاحب عزاست و مثلا براش رخت سفید میبریم و شیرینی و ازشون خواهش میکنیم که با عید کم‌کم برگردن به زندگی و حال و هوامون عوض شه. 

بهش گفتم نمیشه من بیام خونتون درخت براتون تزیین کنم و سنت رو بشکونین… 

گفتم ختی خیلیا سفره هفت سین میبرن سر خاک. گفت اتفاقا ما هم گاهی شاید درخت کوچیک ببریم سر خاک ولی تو خونه نمیچینیم.

براش تعریف کردم نوروز اول بدون مامان بابام واقعا بغض داشتم، درد داشتم. ولی زندگی جریان داره و سفره چیدم و عکسشونو کذاشتم کنار سفره. یه وقتایی دهه هم بگذره از غم. کمرنگ نمیشه ولی بهش عادت میکنی. انگار بهت یه عوض مصنوعی بدن که اولش خیلی برات سخته ولی در نهایت بهش عادت میکنی و حتی کارهای روزمره‌اتو براحتی انجام میدی ولی راستش هیچکس متوجه نمیشه که عضو مصنوعی، عصب نداره. درد نمیفهمه، سوختن متوجه نیست. فقط خودت میدونی… مثلا فقط خودت گاهی یادت میاد ساق پات میخاره ولی پایی که دیگه وجود نداره. 

با اینحال زندگی دقیقا همینه. و راستش گاهی حس میکنم اگه غم نبود، شادی معنی نداشت. اگه غم نبود شاید سنگ محکی وجود نداشت اطرافبانتو بشناسی. اگه غم نبود قدر ثانیه‌ها رو اصلا نمیدونستیم و چقدر زندگی یکنواخت بود…

Tenny, my Armenian colleague, lost her father last February. During the process of decorating the tree, there were cultural exchanges and customs between Armenians and Muslims. I was saying, for example, in the past, gentlemen wouldn't make any changes for forty days or wouldn't attend any important weddings for a year. But now, the mourning period is announced from the seventh day to the fortieth day, and they say that you should move on with your life during this time, and this mourning is for us.

In summary, Tenny said we don't decorate the tree in the first year. I felt sad and told her that during our first Eid, we can visit the house of someone who is mourning and bring them white clothes and sweets, and we ask them to gradually return to their normal life and mood with the arrival of the Eid. I told her that I can come to you house and decorate the tree for you and break the tradition.

I said, sometimes many people take the Haft-Seen table to the cemetery. She said, actually, sometimes we may take a small tree to the cemetery, but we don't decorate it in the house.

I described to her that on the first day of Nowruz without my parents, I really felt a lump in my throat, I was in pain. But life goes on, and I set up the table and put their pictures next to it. Sometimes a decade passes by the grief. It doesn't fade away completely, but you get used to it. It's like someone gives you an artificial replacement that is very difficult for you at first, but eventually you get used to it and even perform your everyday tasks easily. But the truth is, no one realizes that the artificial replacement has no nerves. It doesn't feel pain, it doesn't burn. Only you know... For example, only you sometimes remember that your leg itches, but there is no longer a leg.

Nevertheless, that's exactly how life is. And to be honest, sometimes I feel that if there were no grief, happiness wouldn't have any meaning. If there were no grief, maybe there wouldn't be a touchstone to recognize the surroundings. If there were no grief, we wouldn't appreciate the value of seconds, and life would be monotonous.

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